About a month ago, I found a lump in my left breast. I had just stopped breastfeeding (rather abruptly) so I assumed it was just a plugged milk duct (as all my research was pointing to). I just so happened to have an appt. scheduled with my OB the following week, so I asked him to take a look at it. After an exam and ultrasound, he agreed with me that it was probably just a glandular issue but to be on the safe side, he referred me to a surgeon friend for a closer look. We then proceeded to that appt. and her medical diagnosis was the same. But again, to be absolutely sure, she ordered a mammogram at the radiologists office for definitive results. After 2 hours of imaging and ultrasounds, the radiologist found 3 very "suspicious" areas - the lump, a nearby lymph node, and a cluster of calcifications (calcium deposits) just above the lump. So he ordered 3 biopsies to be done. Last Tuesday I completed those biopsies (which were a doozy!) and patiently waited for the results. Around noon on Thursday, the call came in from my radiologist. "Melody," she said, "I have your results and unfortunately I have some bad news" ... instantly my body began to shake ... "first off, we need to see you back in our office to re-biopsy the lymph node, we didn't get a good enough sample to get a proper diagnosis. Secondly, the other two biopsies did come back positive for breast cancer." She was pretty sure that a full mastectomy would be ordered, but would defer to the surgeon and oncologist to set my course for treatment from this point on. I have seen 5 different doctor's over the last 4 weeks, 4 of them referred me to the exact same surgeon claiming he is the absolute best of the best in this area. Similarly, we have received nearly the same amount of referrals for the oncologist we've chosen as he, too, is the best in his field. We certainly take comfort in the level of confidence these 2 doctors have received from the peers and we feel like we're certainly in the best hands possible. I have been assured that at the end of it all, I will be just fine - this is not the end all, be all for me. But it will be rough, no doubt. Either major surgery and/or chemotherapy will be required of me and if nothing else, that's enough to break one's spirit.
Now that the medical "stuff" is out of the way, I can also claim, with full confidence, that my God always goes before me and this is not new news to Him. I believe it was no accident that our beloved pastor, Pastor Clint, made the comment on Sunday that wherever God calls you, He goes with you. Thank goodness! I could never make it through this without his grace covering my entire life. I'm often reminded of Job's story in the Bible. When Satan questioned God about Job, His response was very clear ... Job was found righteous in the eyes of God. God allowed Satan to strip Job of everything he had - family, possessions, even his health - because he was confident that Job would remain upright through it all. Perhaps God continues to allow bad thing after bad thing to happen to our family because He has found me righteous in His eyes and knows that our testimony can be an effective means of sharing the gospel with the world around us. A dear friend reminded me this week of 2 very important things: The battle belongs to the Lord and He WILL be with me (2 Chron. 20:15 & Ps. 118:6). If I can keep my eyes focused on Him throughout this entire process, as hard as it is guaranteed to be, I know that I will in fact be okay. In the meantime, we covet all your prayers as this has radically shaken our family and will change a lot of things going forward. I'm very sad to battling this at the same time that I should be enjoying all my daughter's magical "firsts" - first Halloween, first Thanksgiving, first Christmas, etc. as well as her milestones - teaching her how to roll over, crawl, eat her veggies/fruits, etc. :) But the focus now shifts to me for a short while and getting me healthy so I can go on being Audrey's mommy and Chris' wife for a very long time!
