3 Words You Never Expect to Hear ...

 ... "you have cancer" ... or in my case, "you have breast cancer."  Last week I received a phone call from my radiologist confirming my worst fear.  You might be asking yourself how on earth this is possible?  There is no natural history of it in my family and I'm only 30 years old.  This seems absolutely crazy!  Well I obviously can't tell you how I got cancer (although I have a pretty good theory), all I can tell you is that it's definitely in there and now we have to create a plan to get rid of it as soon as possible.  Here's the backstory:

About a month ago, I found a lump in my left breast.  I had just stopped breastfeeding (rather abruptly) so I assumed it was just a plugged milk duct (as all my research was pointing to).  I just so happened to have an appt. scheduled with my OB the following week, so I asked him to take a look at it.  After an exam and ultrasound, he agreed with me that it was probably just a glandular issue but to be on the safe side, he referred me to a surgeon friend for a closer look.  We then proceeded to that appt. and her medical diagnosis was the same.  But again, to be absolutely sure, she ordered a mammogram at the radiologists office for definitive results.  After 2 hours of imaging and ultrasounds, the radiologist found 3 very "suspicious" areas - the lump, a nearby lymph node, and a cluster of calcifications (calcium deposits) just above the lump.  So he ordered 3 biopsies to be done.  Last Tuesday I completed those biopsies (which were a doozy!) and patiently waited for the results.  Around noon on Thursday, the call came in from my radiologist.  "Melody," she said, "I have your results and unfortunately I have some bad news" ... instantly my body began to shake ... "first off, we need to see you back in our office to re-biopsy the lymph node, we didn't get a good enough sample to get a proper diagnosis.  Secondly, the other two biopsies did come back positive for breast cancer."  She was pretty sure that a full mastectomy would be ordered, but would defer to the surgeon and oncologist to set my course for treatment from this point on.  I have seen 5 different doctor's over the last 4 weeks, 4 of them referred me to the exact same surgeon claiming he is the absolute best of the best in this area.  Similarly, we have received nearly the same amount of referrals for the oncologist we've chosen as he, too, is the best in his field.  We certainly take comfort in the level of confidence these 2 doctors have received from the peers and we feel like we're certainly in the best hands possible.  I have been assured that at the end of it all, I will be just fine - this is not the end all, be all for me.  But it will be rough, no doubt.  Either major surgery and/or chemotherapy will be required of me and if nothing else, that's enough to break one's spirit.

Now that the medical "stuff" is out of the way, I can also claim, with full confidence, that my God always goes before me and this is not new news to Him.  I believe it was no accident that our beloved pastor, Pastor Clint, made the comment on Sunday that wherever God calls you, He goes with you.  Thank goodness!  I could never make it through this without his grace covering my entire life.  I'm often reminded of Job's story in the Bible.  When Satan questioned God about Job, His response was very clear ... Job was found righteous in the eyes of God.  God allowed Satan to strip Job of everything he had - family, possessions, even his health - because he was confident that Job would remain upright through it all.  Perhaps God continues to allow bad thing after bad thing to happen to our family because He has found me righteous in His eyes and knows that our testimony can be an effective means of sharing the gospel with the world around us.  A dear friend reminded me this week of 2 very important things: The battle belongs to the Lord and He WILL be with me (2 Chron. 20:15 & Ps. 118:6).  If I can keep my eyes focused on Him throughout this entire process, as hard as it is guaranteed to be, I know that I will in fact be okay.  In the meantime, we covet all your prayers as this has radically shaken our family and will change a lot of things going forward.  I'm very sad to battling this at the same time that I should be enjoying all my daughter's magical "firsts" - first Halloween, first Thanksgiving, first Christmas, etc. as well as her milestones - teaching her how to roll over, crawl, eat her veggies/fruits, etc. :)  But the focus now shifts to me for a short while and getting me healthy so I can go on being Audrey's mommy and Chris' wife for a very long time!

Happy Anniversary!

This week we celebrated our 9-year wedding anniversary.  I can't believe it's been that long already.  Sometimes I feel like we were just married yesterday.  But then I think about all that we have experienced together over the last 9 years and it feels like we've been together for a lifetime!  This year I asked for 2 things:  1. an emerald ring (sort of a late mother's day gift as well) - this is Audrey's birthstone, and 2. a full night's sleep with breakfast in bed!  I don't know which gift I was more excited about! lol!  So we decided to make a hotel reservation at the new Renaissance North Hills hotel in Raleigh and leave our sweet baby girl with her grammy overnight.  As much as I missed her (SOOOOO very much!), it was a great decision to sneak away and reconnect after 3 months of major life change.  We also made a dinner reservation at the Bonefish Grill about a block from our hotel ... it was delicious!  I don't think either of  us had ever been there before so we were really looking forward to it.  I tried something new, swordfish Oscar with whipped potatoes and summer tomatoes.  It was amazing!  I topped it off with savory creme brulee and left completely satisfied by that delicious meal! Afterwards, we walked back towards the hotel, but in no hurry as there was a lovely summer wind blowing through and it made for a very enjoyable evening stroll.  As wonderful as all that was, my favorite part was waking up to the sound of room service the very next morning bringing me my long-awaited, much-anticipated breakfast in bed!  Pancakes, eggs, bacon, potatoes, whole wheat toast, fresh squeezed orange juice, and coffee . . . YUM-MY!!!  What a wonderful way to end our anniversary getaway!  It was wonderful to spend that time alone together just reconnecting with each other and rekindling the romance that tends to land on the back burner after something like having a baby and changing your world forever :)

Happy 9-year anniversary, Chris Harrell.  I love you so very much!

We Had A Baby!

We can finally announce the arrival of our firstborn child, Audrey Elizabeth Harrell!  She was born on May 2, 2012 at 8:32pm.  It was a gorgeous spring day and the perfect day to welcome a new baby into this world!  She weighed 8lbs 8oz and measured 21 inches long.  We are thrilled to finally have her here and life as we know it now will never be the same again :)

Nursery Furniture - Before & After

So, the reason I haven't blogged in a while is because I've had my hands full with designing this nursery for our baby girl.  Even though Chris has done nearly all the work, my mind has been completely preoccupied with this for months!  However, I absolutely HAD to take the time to blog about my precious husband and the amazing work he has done on Audrey's nursery furniture.  Over the last year, we have really enjoyed learning about how to buy thriftily and refinish old furniture to create unique, trendy, and CHEAP new furniture!  Fortunately for us, Audrey's nursery furniture came free, it just needed a little TLC to make it what we wanted in her room.  The furniture generously came from my sweet great-grandmother.  We were in her home one Sunday afternoon picking up a sewing machine she has offered to me and we saw this furniture.  Instantly, Chris and I both loved the design of it and knew it would be perfect nursery furniture.  So we asked my grandma if we could take it home with us, and she agreed!

Here are pictures of the 2 pieces of furniture in their original state (from the 1950's) - BEFORE SHOT

chest of drawers

dresser

 And after COUNTLESS days and hours of sanding, priming, taping, and painting, here are pictures of the beautiful furniture now - AFTER SHOT

We still have one more step to do before we can put this project to bed.  The hardware still needs to be put back on :)  We have chosen to spray paint the hardware an oil-rubbed bronze to give it an overall polished finish.  All the colors look so great together!  It's hard to tell in these pictures, but we painted the furniture antique white, painted the tops navy blue, and added a coral pink design.  Add in the bronze hardware and it will all come together perfectly!

Happy Birthday, Mom!

This weekend was my mom's 54th birthday (and no, she looks no where near 54 years old!).  So Chris, Autumn, and I packed up the car and headed towards Raleigh.  We had a wonderful weekend together!  We enjoyed a trip to one of our absolute favorite places, the Wake Forest Tea Room, visited my dad's gravesite and dropped off some flowers, and even had time to squeeze in a little surprise party with all her Meredith College girls :)  It was delightful, all kinds of fun!  I ate entirely too much food over the course of the weekend, which I will be paying for for a while (boo) :(  We also had a chance to enjoy a birthday lunch with my grandparents before heading back to Concord today.  Here are a few pics from mom's special lunch at the Japanese restaurant.

Happy birthday, mom!  Hope you enjoyed it as much as we did!

A Surprise In My Mailbox

In today's mail was an unexpected surprise :)  My sister-in-law along with our darling niece and nephew sent us the sweetest card to let us know they were thinking about us and sad to hear about our Sadie girl.  They knew we were sad and thought this might be a nice way to cheer us up.  They were right!  We found this card to be very thoughtful and endearing and it did make us feel better :)

Uncle Chris & Cade

Aunt Melody & Natalie

Thanks, Herman gang, for cheering us up!

Time to Say Goodbye

A few months ago, I posted about our precious dog, Sadie, and how we had recently discovered that she was diagnosed with lymphoma (cancer).  The few months we had together flew like the wind and this week it became terribly clear that it was time to let her go.  She was absolutely miserable and suffering immensely, but neither of us had enough courage to make the decision about when to let her go.  Unfortunately, she told us herself last night, in her own special way, that the time had finally come.  We had decided to schedule the appointment at the vet's office for Friday, 2/17, but she took a drastic turn for the worse today and it was clear that we couldn't wait even 1 more day (for her sake).  Let me just say, this was devastating for us both.  I had to leave work at 10:30am this morning because I hadn't stopped crying for 3 hours and knew I was not gonna make it through the rest of the day.  We scheduled the appointment for 4pm this afternoon and I came home asap to spend our remaining hours together, just Sadie and I.  I made a pallet of blankets and pillows on the floor and curled my body around hers for the next several hours.  I just cried and cried until I ran out of tears (temporarily).  Chris came home around 3:30pm to pick us up.  We went to the vet together as a family.  After the doctor informed us about the process of putting her to sleep, she left the room for a few minutes to allow us to say our goodbyes.  This was heart wrenching.  Truly devastating for us both.  It's always so upsetting for me to watch my husband cry, I know his heart was breaking and I couldn't do anything about it.  Shortly after, the doctor came back into the room and took special care of our Sadie for the very last time.  Afterwards, as we attempted to drive away from the vet's office, we recounted to each other how perfect our Sadie really was for us and all the things we loved about her so much.  It's hard to imagine that we will ever find that kind of perfect fit again in another dog, but we can hope so.

Here are some pics we took over the last few weeks together.  These are Sadie-girl's last pictures with us.

Precious Sadie, you were the best friend and companion we could have ever hoped for.  You will be missed everyday and we will continue to love you with all our hearts even after you're gone.

Happy Birthentine's Day!

Last night, Chris and I celebrated our newest tradition . . . birthentine's day!  Allow me to explain.  Valentine's day is on February 14th and Chris's birthday is on February 16th, so we decided ever year from now on we would combine both events into 1 holiday and celebrate together on February 15th instead.  You may feel like one or both of us gets jipped a little by doing this, but in all reality, Vday was never a holiday we celebrated anyways and Chris isn't big on birthday celebrations.  So it actually turns out better for us both because we're acknowledging our love and happy marriage while not making a big deal of Chris's birthday :)

This year we went out to dinner at Mickey & Mooch restaurant in the Lake Norman area.  We both enjoyed a delicious NY Strip steak with our choice of side items and topped it off with a little tuxedo cheesecake and decaf coffee :)  It was amazing - absolutely delicious!  It was just so nice to sit down for a special meal together and put all the stresses of everyday life on the shelf for a while.

Here are 2 pictures from our first birthentine's day.  I apologize that the second picture below is a little blurry :(

A Big Week!

We're as busy as little worker bees these days trying to get everything ready for our baby girl to arrive (in only 16 weeks!).  This was a big week in particular.  After 3 1/2 years of driving around our FABULOUS Toyota Highlander, we were finally able to pay off the remaining balance on the car and we now own it free and clear!  AWESOME!  This was one big step towards amending my work schedule as much as possible after Audrey gets here.  Next we purchased a sleeper sofa from an acquaintance we met on Craigs List.  The sleeper sofa takes the place of the queen bed we had in our guest room since we're now having to shuffle rooms upstairs and make that room in particular as multi-functional as possible.  After searching and searching for a few months now, we had some great luck this week in finding our new couch!  It's a 2008 La-z-boy sleeper sofa and still in EXCELLENT condition!  Compared to the retail selling price listed, we walked away with this "new" couch for a third of the price!  What a great deal!  And last but certainly not least, we spontaneously stopped by the baby consignment store in Mooresville today on our way home from picking up the sofa and ended up driving away with Audrey's entire travel system!  We loved the look of it instantly, but rather than getting carried away with our "excitement", Chris pulled out his smart phone and starting researching the system first.  After a few minutes, we read that it received superb reviews and that it is a high quality, top of the line travel system.  So we inquired of the store manager a little further and drove away with it for less than half price!  Holy moly!   It's rewarding to see the benefits of our frugality and patience!  I don't think we'll ever pay full price for anything ever again :)