Rubella

Chris and I made the decision recently to change fertility doctors. We had our first appointment with our new doctor, Dr. Usadi, on Friday, 7/25/08. It was GREAT! She was fabulous, the whole experience was fabulous, and we feel certain this is directly where the Lord has been leading us. Before we left her office on Friday, I was asked to give blood to be tested for Cystic Fibrosis and Rubella. The results came back yesterday. I tested negative for CF, but apparently I am no longer immune to Rubella. I was vaccinated when I was very young (around 5 years old), and certain vaccinations can wear off after 15 years. Dr. Usadi explained to me the benefits and necessity of receiving this vaccination again BEFORE we get pregnant; otherwise, our baby will run a high risk of blindness, deafness, brain damage, heart failure, etc. if, for whatever reason, I contract the rubella virus during my pregnancy. So it was basically mandatory that I get this shot, and as soon as possible. The virus has to run its course in my bloodstream for 4 weeks PRIOR to conception. Therefore, Chris and I cannot begin our next 3 consecutive rounds of insemination until September. We were hoping to start in August, but then we received the news about this ridiculous rubella thing, so now we've been pushed back one month. No big deal, we're taking every precaution to make sure our baby is healthy from conception. So, all that to say, I will be injected with a small dose of the German measles at 11:00 this morning . . . WHOOHOO!!! Hopefully I can make it through the day without feeling any side effects. Vacation is going to mean so much more to me after this is all said and done! 2 more days and counting . . . Ocean Isle, here we come!!!

An Awakening

Chris and I spent this past weekend in our hometown of Raleigh. It was so nice to be "home." We caught up with friends and family and really valued our time there. During our drive back to Charlotte, Chris and I talked about how fascinating it can be when God shows us what His plan is for our life, but then says to us "just not now right now." This applies to two specific dreams: 1. to move "home" to Raleigh, plant our roots, and really begin living our life together - settled as a family, and 2. starting this family that we so often speak of. One of our favorite things to do when we go home is to visit my parents church with them on Sunday mornings. My parents have recently discovered the Summit Church in Durham where they are drawn to the powerful worship and the Spirit-anointed teaching that is so amazingly brought forth each week by Pastor J.D. Greear - as do we. This past Sunday was no exception; in fact, I truly believe this lesson was preached solely for my benefit alone as it spoke so deeply to my soul. There were two statements that J.D. brought forth that hit me like a lightning bolt - it was like the light bulb finally came on in my head. He touched on those areas in our lives that we have become so consumed with that we have, in essence, replaced God with them and put them on an "alter" to worship daily. For me, this addiction is a baby. For three years I've allowed my dream of starting a family and the devastation of not finding success in that dream to take control of my life. Each day was like a vicious cycle of one thought after another and because I was so emotionally attached to this dream, there seemed as if there was no way to break this cycle. But when God told me on Sunday morning, as clear as a bell, that this obsession had taken over so much of my life that it replaced the importance and necessity of Jesus Christ, I knew that it was time I laid my Isaac down. I knew that it was time to sacrifice that which at one point was placed on an alter for unholy, selfish worship and is now being surrendered to God. First, there was the realization that I had allowed a seemingly innocent dream replace the One who is the fulfiller of all dreams, then came the encouragement. The next statement was so simple in speech, but so magnificent in context. He said "God is sufficient." That's it. Bottom line. That's all I need to know. God is sufficient enough to fill that longing in my heart with more of Himself, and He's sufficient enough to grant me the desires of my heart. I don't know why it has taken me this long to understand this truth, but I'm so thankful that now I do. Each day is different to me now. Each day has joy and meaning and purpose that it never had before. That burden I felt for three years, that sorrow in my heart that plagued who I was, has been completely annihilated and replaced with hope and expectation and excitement about discovering, potentially even for the very first time, who God really is. It's an encouraging and growing time for us and we couldn't be more grateful.