When Love Takes You In

I know you’ve heard the stories
But they all sound too good to be true
You’ve heard about a place called home
But there doesn’t seem to be one for you
So one more night you cry yourself to sleep
And drift off to a distant dream

Where love takes you in and everything changes
A miracle starts with the beat of a heart
When love takes you home and says you belong here
The loneliness ends and a new life begins
When love takes you in

And somewhere while you’re sleeping
Someone else is dreaming too
Counting down the days until
They hold you close and say I love you
And like the rain that falls into the sea
In a moment what has been is lost in what will be

When love takes you in everything changes
A miracle starts with the beat of a heart

And this love will never let you go
There is nothing that could ever cause this love to lose its hold

When love takes you in everything changes
A miracle starts with the beat of a heart
When love takes you home and says you belong here
The loneliness ends and a new life begins

When love takes you in it takes you in for good
When love takes you in

I'm a HUGE fan of the Chapman family, they are considered heroes in my eyes (even prior to the recent tragedy) because of their heart for adoption and the program that they've started (Shoannah's Hope) for couples like us. When Steven Curtis wrote this song, it touched my heart on so many levels. I've always known that I would adopt at least one child, even prior to knowing about my infertility issues. So when I hear a song like this, it just affirms it in my spirit even more. I'm so excited about the possibilities of sharing my life and love with children around the world that so desperately need to belong. I hope the journey begins soon!

Full Update on the Harrell's

Okay, so I realize that it's been a while since I actually wrote about the important things in our life. SO I thought it was about time that I caught everyone up. First, there's our jobs. Chris is still doing fantastically (don't think that's actually a word) at Granite Contracting. Fortunately, his job is not in jeopardy so far during this "economic downturn" - they're still doing fairly well given the circumstances. My job, however, is not so secure. While I thought we were doing fine, I was told otherwise last week. It seems that there are so many companies that we have done work for that our struggling financially right now and cannot pay us for the jobs that have been done. Our accounts receivables are in the red by approx. $700,000 to date. This means many things for our office. In light of our industry being hit hard during this "recession", the Partners of our firm do not foresee it getting any better for us in the near future (we're talking potentially 3rd quarter of 2009). Therefore, as a means of maintaining staff and not being forced to lay off employees (especially at the holidays), the managerial staff made the decision to cut back hours/salaries by 10% beginning this week. In addition, we cannot count on our annual holiday bonus or salary raises next year. YIKES!!! It's an adjustment for us all. So, my new schedule at work will be a 4 day work week alternating between taking off Monday's and Friday's. Now, I know this seems quite nice - having an extended weekend every weekend - but it also means that, as a result of everyone having to change their schedules, I'll be required to take back on a lot more responsibility that is currently distributed across my whole team to ensure that all staff are covered by an admin at all times. So, not only will I continue on with my current rsponsibilities (that are so numerous I can't even begin to write them all down), but I'll resume team work and reception duties as well - all in a condensed work week. I do not see this going well for us, me especially, but if I want to keep my job, it's something that I HAVE to do. Ugghhh!!! The super good news is, every 2 weeks I'll actually have Friday AND Monday off!!!

Now, on to the "juicy" stuff :) We have completed 3 rounds of fertility treatments (intra-uterine insemination) and sadly, none have been successful. No one can tell us why it's not working. Every time we go in for the procedure they tell us both that we're looking really good and everything is in place for a successful insemination. We have one last try beginning this week. Many of our friends who have gone through the same procedures have had success on their last try. This, by no means, ensures that we will experience that same success - but we are hopeful. We have already begun receiving the paperwork and portfolio's from many local adoption agencies in case our last round of treatment does not work. My doctor will meet with us at the conclusion of our treaments to discuss where to go from there. Per my discussion with a nurs on Friday, we still are several steops away from In Vitro, which only means that there are still other options for us to explore if we are willing. 2 options that she briefly mentioned were taking another type of fertility drugs or we could proceed on to another kind of fertility shots. So, we'll know in about 4 weeks if this is an avenue we'll be walking down or not. While Chris and I are both extremely open to the idea of adoption (either domestic OR foreign), it can cost anywhere from $16,000 - $50,000 per child and that's the part we are most fearful of. Not to mention how long the process can take. If we were to adopt, it is highly likely that we will not be placed with a child while it is a newborn . . . we will miss out on those firsts few precious months of life. That makes me sad, but I can move forward from that. In all honesty, one of the things I am most fearful of is that this adopted child will not be as loved or accepted in our families as would a biological child. This is a common fear for all prospective adopting parents - but it's also a very legitimate one. We feel the prssure from our families to have a child of our own, but sometimes that's just not the Lord's plan. And my biggest desire is that our families will grow to love and accept our adopted baby just as if it were our biological offspring. If you ask us, adopted chidren are sometime more special than biological children. It will be such a privilege for us to have the opportunity to embrace and raise a child that was otherwise be discarded from someone else who would not be able love them like we would. After all, we are called to look after the widows and the orphans in this life. We know it would please God for us to accept this calling.

We are looking forward to the holidays. It's been a while since we spent any real time with our families and we are certainly anxious to get away and do just that. For the first time in a long time, I am actually excited about Christmas! I've already got the Christmas music going and the "spirit" in our house (much to Chris' demise). I'm sure it will be lovely holiday season for us this year (despite all the items mentioned above).

Rubella

Chris and I made the decision recently to change fertility doctors. We had our first appointment with our new doctor, Dr. Usadi, on Friday, 7/25/08. It was GREAT! She was fabulous, the whole experience was fabulous, and we feel certain this is directly where the Lord has been leading us. Before we left her office on Friday, I was asked to give blood to be tested for Cystic Fibrosis and Rubella. The results came back yesterday. I tested negative for CF, but apparently I am no longer immune to Rubella. I was vaccinated when I was very young (around 5 years old), and certain vaccinations can wear off after 15 years. Dr. Usadi explained to me the benefits and necessity of receiving this vaccination again BEFORE we get pregnant; otherwise, our baby will run a high risk of blindness, deafness, brain damage, heart failure, etc. if, for whatever reason, I contract the rubella virus during my pregnancy. So it was basically mandatory that I get this shot, and as soon as possible. The virus has to run its course in my bloodstream for 4 weeks PRIOR to conception. Therefore, Chris and I cannot begin our next 3 consecutive rounds of insemination until September. We were hoping to start in August, but then we received the news about this ridiculous rubella thing, so now we've been pushed back one month. No big deal, we're taking every precaution to make sure our baby is healthy from conception. So, all that to say, I will be injected with a small dose of the German measles at 11:00 this morning . . . WHOOHOO!!! Hopefully I can make it through the day without feeling any side effects. Vacation is going to mean so much more to me after this is all said and done! 2 more days and counting . . . Ocean Isle, here we come!!!

An Awakening

Chris and I spent this past weekend in our hometown of Raleigh. It was so nice to be "home." We caught up with friends and family and really valued our time there. During our drive back to Charlotte, Chris and I talked about how fascinating it can be when God shows us what His plan is for our life, but then says to us "just not now right now." This applies to two specific dreams: 1. to move "home" to Raleigh, plant our roots, and really begin living our life together - settled as a family, and 2. starting this family that we so often speak of. One of our favorite things to do when we go home is to visit my parents church with them on Sunday mornings. My parents have recently discovered the Summit Church in Durham where they are drawn to the powerful worship and the Spirit-anointed teaching that is so amazingly brought forth each week by Pastor J.D. Greear - as do we. This past Sunday was no exception; in fact, I truly believe this lesson was preached solely for my benefit alone as it spoke so deeply to my soul. There were two statements that J.D. brought forth that hit me like a lightning bolt - it was like the light bulb finally came on in my head. He touched on those areas in our lives that we have become so consumed with that we have, in essence, replaced God with them and put them on an "alter" to worship daily. For me, this addiction is a baby. For three years I've allowed my dream of starting a family and the devastation of not finding success in that dream to take control of my life. Each day was like a vicious cycle of one thought after another and because I was so emotionally attached to this dream, there seemed as if there was no way to break this cycle. But when God told me on Sunday morning, as clear as a bell, that this obsession had taken over so much of my life that it replaced the importance and necessity of Jesus Christ, I knew that it was time I laid my Isaac down. I knew that it was time to sacrifice that which at one point was placed on an alter for unholy, selfish worship and is now being surrendered to God. First, there was the realization that I had allowed a seemingly innocent dream replace the One who is the fulfiller of all dreams, then came the encouragement. The next statement was so simple in speech, but so magnificent in context. He said "God is sufficient." That's it. Bottom line. That's all I need to know. God is sufficient enough to fill that longing in my heart with more of Himself, and He's sufficient enough to grant me the desires of my heart. I don't know why it has taken me this long to understand this truth, but I'm so thankful that now I do. Each day is different to me now. Each day has joy and meaning and purpose that it never had before. That burden I felt for three years, that sorrow in my heart that plagued who I was, has been completely annihilated and replaced with hope and expectation and excitement about discovering, potentially even for the very first time, who God really is. It's an encouraging and growing time for us and we couldn't be more grateful.

It's been a while

Sorry it's been so long since our last entry - it has been very busy!!! Between work, softball, company and weekend social activities, there's not been much time for blogging! :) To go WAY back (almost a month now), we finally bought our new car!!! It's a 2005 Toyota Highlander Limited - absolutely gorgeous! We couldn't have picked a better SUV. And it gets the same gas mileage as our car did - BONUS!!! We take everyone for rides in it now!!! When we go places with our friends, the Harrell's actually volunteer to drive (which is a first)! :) We are very happy. We also finally finished remodeling our bedroom furniture. Chris did a beautiful job with this - it pays to be meticulous sometimes :) I keep meaning to post pics of both the car and the furniture - I'll get to it soon :) Chris's softball team (the Nationals) is playing very well this year (especially given that they have been a "losing team" for the past 2 years). On Monday they played the team that beat them in the Championship game last year. This is the best team in the league. For 8 innings they were winning 4-0. In the 9th inning, the other team stepped it up (and the Nationals made a few careless mistakes) and ended up winning the game 7-6. We were very sad :( But they'll make up for it at tonight's game (which doesn't even begin until 9:30 pm - don't people know I'm usually in bed at this hour?!?!!?). We've made plans to go to Carowinds/Boomerang Bay Water park tomorrow with our friends. I'm SOOO excited about this! It's been ages since I've been to an amusement park, much less a WATER park!!! Chris isn't so thrilled - he's not a big fan of either - but he's being a good sport and taking one for the team. I'll bet he ends ups having a blast anyways - just because of the awesome people that we're going with! Whoohoo!!! Pics of that will be posted shortly after as well :)

On a different note, as we've passed the 3 year mark in our struggle to start a family, Chris and I decided to leave the fertility clinic we've been at the last 2 years (REACH) and transfer to another new clinic that came highly recommended to us (CMC Women's Institute). We feel very comfortable with the decision. Our old doctors/nurses weren't being very helpful or informative, nor did they ever seem to be sympathetic to our condition, so we knew it just wasn't the place to be. Our new doctor (Dr. Usadi) is a PCOS specialist, so I'm sure we'll get better direction from her than we were getting from Dr. Whitesides. Our first appointment is on Friday, July 25th at 9:00 a.m. Pending on what kind of "plan" they put us on, Chris and I had decided to move forward with the laparoscopy as soon as possible. Hopefully, whatever the doctors decide, it will put us back on the right path.

Our 5th wedding anniversary is approaching quickly (in 3 weeks) and I 'm SO excited! I cannot believe it's been 5 years already - that's like a milestone!!! Chris has made wonderful plans for us to spend a long weekend (Friday-Monday) at my favorite summer spot - Ocean Isle Beach. He rented a condo for us a block off the beach (it was the only thing we could find that didn't require a full week's stay) and it's as cute as a button :) It will be a fabulous mini-vacation/anniversary celebration!!! Crab legs . . . here I come!!! :)

What A Weekend!

So, this was a very big weekend for us! My sisters and I have been planning a surprise 50th birthday party for our parents for the last 3 months. Saturday (3/8/08) was the big day! First off, my sister, Harmony, and her beautiful family came into Charlotte on Friday night from Alabama. She and I went to see a movie after dinner and got to spend some much needed one on one time together. That was really nice. We ran a couple of errands Saturday morning, mostly picking up some of the last minute party items . . . cupcakes, flowers, etc. By lunchtime we were packing up our cars and headed to Raleigh. We got in about 2:45 and then the fun began! We spent all afternoon setting up and decorating for the party. By the time the food was delivered we were all famished and ready to eat - but we had to wait till the party began! At around 7:00 pm, the guests of honor had arrived. Needless to say, they were very surprised (and still a little speechless)! They got to see some old faces that they haven't seen in quite a while - it was a wonderful reunion for them. We got a lot of the "big" moments on camera, so I'll add those to the blog as soon as I upload them. We ate, danced, played games and mingled all night - they had such a great time! The last 3 months of hard work, preparation, and trying so desperately to keep this event a secret (even to the point of lying at times) really paid off in a big way and we couldn't be more pleased with how well it was received. "Happy 50th Birthday(s), mom and dad!"

On a much more solemn note, we found out on Friday that our insemination procedure was unsuccessful. We're kind of at a standstill at the moment because we just really aren't sure what to do next. I think we're gonna take a little break for a while and try to live life without being consumed by this "condition." Maybe we'll try round 2 in the Spring. Please keep praying. This not knowing what the problem is or how to fix it is really taking its toll on us emotionally. We're both just pretty fed up with all the disappointment - we need some relief.

Hope you all had a lovely weekend as well. This weather has been beautiful lately - only 2 more weeks until Spring! I'm looking forward to longer days and more sunshine!

We finally have some good news! After nearly 3 years of waiting/trying, the time has come to have a baby! Don't get too excited, yet. Chris and I will be going in for our first round of insemination on Monday, January 18, 2008. We'll have to go in at 7:00 for labs/specimen donation/ultrasound and then again at 11:00 for the actual insemination procedure. We are really looking forward to this! It's kind of surreal to think that in 2 days, we could be pregnant! WOW! Please be praying for us specifically on Monday. Our hopes are already high just because we're finally at this point in the process, but it still may not be the right time yet. Only the Lord knows when we will be blessed with a baby of our own; however, he continues to prove His faithfulness to us everyday and I am confident that He will not let us down in this area.

In other news . . . today is Chris' birthday!!! The big 29! We have a wonderful weekend planned. I have made dinner reservations at McCormick & Schmicks Seafood Restaurant and a reservation at the Omni Hotel. Both of which are located in uptown, which Chris really enjoys! Uptown Charlotte can be a really beautiful place to be, especially as you are walking the streets at night! We plan on taking full advantage of all the time together this weekend - we're really looking forward to that!

Valentine's Day was wonderful as well! Chris bought me a pound of chocolate covered strawberries from a local fudge shop - they are delightful! He got some good gifts, too!

Work is going well. We're kind of at a slow point right now, because of the state of the economy. But I don't mind that at all, it's nice to not be pulling my hair out everyday because there's too much to do in too little time!

We'll try and get some pictures from our special weekend and post some for your viewing pleasure! Hope you have a nice weekend!

Baby update . . .

Chris and I met with Dr. Whitesides on Friday to see where we go from here. The options we've tried thus far don't seem to be working. We agreed that our next step would be IUI (intra-uterine insemination). We will begin our first round of shots in February. We'll try this for 3 months. They are telling us that because of our age and health, this should be the golden ticket for us. Keep praying! As many of you know, cost was a real concern for us when it got to this level . . . thankfully, my insurance through CJS will cover it 100%!!! God has been very good to us in this aspect so far!

Oh my goodness . . . it has been SO long since I last updated this blog! What can I say, there's just not enough time in the day anymore! Chris and I are doing very well. As usual, staying very busy. Chris is wrapping up several large projects at work and will hopefully begin the new year with a more sensible schedule. He has been promised no more than 3 houses at a time and that should keep him well-balanced for now. I know that 3 houses doesn't sound like much, but when you're managing the building of a house from start to finish, it's really more that one person can handle at any given time. Believe it or not, he's been managing 3 houses plus 3 large projects (mostly additions/renovations to current homes) for the last 6 months - hence the reason he hasn't been around too much. But with this new promise should come a new schedule and for that we are grateful! Mel is keeping rather busy herself. As if supporting the 3 managing partners/HR Adminstrator/Residential Team of her firm isn't enough to keep her busy, she is also doing a lot of party planning (on the side) and maintaining her role as the Fellowship Coordinator for our Sunday School Class (check it out at http://hartsellnewlyweds.blogspot.com/). Not to mention the two dogs she has to take care of everyday as well. They really are like children. Autumn, who is now 3 1/2 years old, is pretty self-sufficient. But Sadie, who is only 10 months old, is a puppy in every way. It's a full-time job just keeping up with her . . . . making sure she's not chewing up something or eating Autumn's food or going potty in the house. Her latest conquests have been chewing up Melody's glasses, fighting with her sister and pooping on the new white duvet in our bedroom. But, she's still just as sweet and loveable as ever and we can't deny that we absolutely adore her! In terms of expanding our family in a more traditional sense, we will soon have to make the choice between moving forward with injections or adoption. It's a big decision with many pro's and con's to both, so, any prayers are much appreciated! I'll try my best to update this as much as possible from here on out - I just need to make the time I guess. In the meantime, we hope you have a wonderful and very happy new year in 2008!

So, I aplogize for the delay, I know it's been a while since our last entry - but things have been super busy for us (I'm beginning to think they'll never slow down again). We do have some news to report. Chris and I met with our fertility doctor last week to discuss Chris' test results and our future course of action. Thankfully, to date, we both are checking out fine. However, my next step will be to have a dye test done (outpatient surgery). This will let us know if there is anything being blocked which would prevent fertilzation from occurring. After that, Dr. Whitesides has recommended that I add another fertility drug to the already existing medication I am currently taking. We'll give that a couple of months before moving on to anything more invasive. However, if time reveals to us that we need to move forward, then the progression will be as follows: 3 rounds of IUI (insemination) and then a laparoscopy (outpatient surgery). The last and final option that we have is IVF - and neither of us feel confident in going that far. We will resume with adoption after the laparoscopy if necessary. To quote my mom "I think we'll have some good news by Christmas" - I certainly hope so! It's been a very long and emotional 2 years on this train now and we're ready to get off!

Chris has started playing softball with church - his first game was supposed to be tonight, but it got rained out (which is okay because our lawn could use the rain!). There's always next week! He also has been enjoying spending time weekly with a buddy of ours playing the guitar and singing.

I'm just glad to make it home at the end of the day, have some dinner, and go to bed early (depending on my TV schedule) :) There's not too much going on with me these days :)

REACH test results

So Chris' test results came back from REACH and my Doctor looked them over. He confirmed that Chris checks out just fine. So, we have arranged a consultation with my doctor on Thursday, June 7, 2007 at 2:15 pm to thoroughly go over his results and discuss our next steps. Will keep you posted. Keep praying!

Good News . . .

Chris has an appointment at REACH to get tested onWednesday at 12:30 pm. Please be praying for him during this time - it's very difficult for him (or so it seems). Soon we'll be able to have more answers and we can put this whole thing behind us.

We had some friends over tonight for a cookout and games. It was SO much fun! Chris made steak and shrimp kabobs, corn on the cob, and roasted potatoes. I also made a fruit trifle for dessert. Everything was great and it was really fun hosting it at our house - we should really do that more often :)

We've been pretty busy this week. Outside of our jobs, we also have done a lot of home decoration this week. We completely switched out our guest bedroom and office. It looks really great, but it was a lot of work!

Hope everyone continues to have a nice weekend! Love to all!